An ancient key to happiness
This weekend, my colleagues at The New York Times Magazine are publishing a special issue all about happiness: how to define it, discover it and increase it. In particular, I loved a quiz called, "What Makes You Happy?" I had fun answering the questions, but it also made me think. It turns out that happiness can be grouped into two main categories, and the concept goes back to ancient Greece. One kind is called eudaemonic well-being, which you might think of as having meaning and purpose in your life. The other is called hedonic well-being, which means feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. Both, researchers say, are important in order to thrive. I asked my colleague Laura Bennett, an editor at The Times Magazine, who devised the quiz, to tell me more. This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity. Can we start with a few examples of the two types of happiness?For hedonic well-being, think of eating a mind-blowing cookie, laughing at a funny social media post, or lounging by a fireplace during a snowstorm. Eudaemonic well-being, meanwhile, refers to the deeper sense of meaning and purpose that can come from, say, feeling a sense of mastery over challenging work, volunteering in your community and bonding with loved ones. And experts say that you need both, right?Yes, though there's obviously no one-size-fits-all guideline for happiness, some researchers tend to think you're skewing too heavily in one direction if your well-being is more than 75 percent either hedonic or eudaemonic. What if your life has a good amount of simple pleasures and not as much meaningful joy?The research is pretty clear that eudaemonic happiness is linked to strong relationships. So first, I'd say: Seek out the people in your life who make you feel most fully yourself, and try to prioritize spending time with them. Send a random check-in text every once in a while to a beloved friend you haven't spoken to in awhile. Also, cultivating new skills or hobbies can be a great source of eudaemonic well-being, whether you're taking up weight lifting, sketching landscape scenes, or learning a new language. What if someone is light on hedonic happiness?Find little things to do that bring you pleasure and excitement in the moment, whatever that means for you. When I'm in search of a small dose of hedonic happiness, I'll plan little adventures for my family like, say, a beach picnic. I also have a beloved playlist that my husband describes as "bad pop music for teens," and listening to that gives me a reliable jolt of hedonic delight, too. Why are you asking people if they've had a 'fun sexual encounter'?It seemed remiss to discuss hedonic happiness without a question about sex! I'd originally phrased this question as "Had good sex," and one of the wise researchers who collaborated with us pointed out that "good sex," by virtue of making you feel emotionally connected to another person, can be considered eudaemonic, too. It just goes to show, once again, how hard "happiness" is to define — and how many ways there are to access it. My score revealed that I'm a 'flourisher.' What about you?Listen, Jancee, I don't want to brag, but I got "The Flourisher," too. Did I tip the scales in my own favor when conceiving these questions? Who can say? But regardless, I was delighted, hedonically. You can take Laura's quiz here. Also in the issue: a story on the longest-running happiness study, an exploration of "the world's happiest country" — and a few happiness tips from yours truly. One last thing: I'm planning to write about "The Ick" — that sudden feeling of disgust that can arise around a potential love interest, prompted by a mannerism or action. If you want to share any "icks" you've experienced, please write to me at well_newsletter@nytimes.com. I may use them in an upcoming column. Like this email?
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